Hard Questions To Answer

There are two questions that I don't know how to answer.

The first is: Where is your son on the Autism Spectrum?:

I really don't know what people mean, or what I can say to give an accurate description of my son's condition. As I write this, I'm realizing that I can't even put to words how I could possibly answer the question. My son stims (flaps his hands), he can't really talk, he can be easily upset, he runs back and forth every chance he gets, he is always making some sort of noise. So maybe on the Spectrum he's a 8.2?

I understand why people ask. They ask because they are concerned and want to know more. They want to know how hard is life on my wife. They want to know if they can place my son in a category along with other Autistic kids they've been exposed too.

What if I said:

My son is beginning to talk, he seems to understand his situation more, he is showing normal behaviour is certain situations, like not taking off is his seat belt at a stop sign, my son can match 80 words to their picture, he can successfully navigate the Internet, he has accidents, but goes to the bathroom by himself. So maybe he's a 5.1.

The second question that I don't know how to answer is: How is your son doing?

The reason why this question is difficult to answer is again the image I think I might create in the mind of the person asking.

If I say "he's fine", I worry that I'm not giving the whole story.

I remember one time a former boss asked me about Luc and I said "he's doing well, responding to therapy" etc. To which he retorted "Oh good, so he's getting better then, good". I guess he's right, Luc is getting better, he seems to be learning and understanding. My issue is, I don't think that this type of interaction really paints the picture of autism. Luc can put his socks on by himself. This is a skill that is fairly new, and I like that he can do it. I got the impression that my former boss thought that Luc was dressing himself and walking home at lunch to watch the Flintstones, and the nightmare was over.

Again - I like talking about Luc -I like people asking me about him, I like that people are interested about the mystery of Autism to listen to how I answer. The problem is, I just don't know how to answer.